Secret

I summoned my Shaman to help me forget you

I took a trip with Alice to a Wonderland to show me who you are and all I found was who you are not

I asked the Ancients of Days and the Keepers of Time to reveal me my truth
and all I found were my lies

I’ll sit under the moon and believe I’m a Wolf
When all I am is a Coyote

I look to my spirit guide and she’s a pecker of wood
And suddenly all my life is overstood

I will sit with Kings, gain knowledge from the Sages, plan with with Queens and protest my rages
Cry for my people that are locked in cages
Dream that my songs will be heard throughout the ages
Ground myself in meditation
Drown myself in medication
Fill my head with the dead’s education
And I will still be me.
Your secret. Is safe with me.

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I sat on the edge of my bed as you walked in my room. My back towards you the whole time you approached me. I anticipated your touch and breathed in your scent as I took in my last breath.

With each step I imagined your embrace and calculated each kiss. How I will receive you was the thought that exploded as the tips of your fingers grazed my aura entering my space as I began to die another death.

A. “Ariashalaara” M.

Slumber

My entrance was grand
They couldn’t wait for my arrival
I almost didn’t make it
Life suffocating as I slip through the gateway to a realm that beholds my final ascension and all that is between.

Bright lights smiling faces and
I
Have
Arrived

Happy moment
My existence so important that it’s documented in State books and in the minds of anyone that may come to care for me

If there is ever to be one

Surrounded yet alone
Heart pounds yet its frozen
Emotions raging yet I’m silent

Taken advantage of
Left by the sidelines
Tricked by the predators
Loved by the distant

Torn
Is
My
Heart

Never to know my descendants

Only left to long for a place that is peaceful and away from all malignance

I visit the place that we all shall in the end

I look down the road
I think I’ve found a friend

I AM

My mind is never at rest. My art is always on display in my head.

Every sound, scene, touch, taste, smell, and thought can be created into art.

I live my life in color yet I create in black and white. My words can whisp over the surface yet bring your mind to the depths of existence. I can help you understand life and all your purpose with a single conversation.

Yet I cannot get even my own creation to accept my love.

Am I really so great?

I have sat at tables with millionaires and exchanged ideas with the most prominent leaders that take my advice and stand to their feet when I enter a room.

Yet I cannot get my lover to walk with me down the street.

Am I really that great?

I begin to question my existence, although I know the answer. Yet I need to hear it from the mouth of a sage.
I can read your palm, explain the Psalms, disect the universe and paint it all in a portrait using a single color.
Yet I cannot grasp the attention of my friends.

Am I really that great?

Thinking Outloud

Thinking out loud;

The current condition of our school system; while we are being overexposed to mass amounts of white fear, and mass shootings, our teachers are working with no contract (JC) is that dedication or fear of starvation? Is it a coincidence that teachers have no contracts and a mass shooting in a school in Florida might prompt legislators to allow the fears of the loudest, richest, and least compassionate to control the rights of the poor and underprivileged?

Have we not learned yet?

Education of firearms is more important than putting more firearms in the presence of our youth. That idea is addressed like when one of your friends says some whack sh@+ and everybody disagrees at once like ‘ nah nah nah’.

What child is going to want to go to school especially if they are fearful of guns? Will that raise teacher suicide rates? Will it really create a safe environment on teachers that are overwhelmed with school, family, and plain old life, and now forced to be defender of children they just might be afraid of?

How do our children feel about this as they watch the adults scratch at each others throats in the name of a color, financial status, or religion? We live in an era when the immigrant picks up the language of his oppressor and uses it as his defense towards black kids in his class. Our children being exposed to the ramifications of children and some adult that are, and have been, conditioned in hostile environments. Some environments are created by others around them, and some are created in their heads.

Is there something that can be done? Is there a relief that is waiting to be received? Everyone wanting peace and freedom in accordance to their own perception causing rejection of real solutions due to a desire to be the one to have the cure, as they disregard the reality that has caused the friction that set the fire in all of our souls. Instead of working together many disregard the unity needed to eradicate the problems.

Poverty caused to the once higher ups by a misunderstanding of need, while money is spent on unnecessary capital items. Neglect and humility towards the unborn right on up to the leaders plagues communities as the norm. Everyone is on the same plane of oppression. We all suffer from the loss of control that will never be regained if power and position is the goal.

Do we settle for equality? Is equality the solution? Is it what we need to become a nation that will be able to function under the liberty that was the goal of the original code of this country? Each one giving of themselves with no price tag attached. Imagine a time where we can all function in a rhythm that beats the sound of equality and real justice, due to the people sharing their individual skill to build up the descendants who will be blind to the color of skin, or offense of others due to ignorance. Is compassion the answer?

I’m just thinking out loud.

As we continue on our journey through this five ring arena, a place with no outlet,j just bouncing from ring to ring in search of our position; will we be satisfied with just being? Or will we continue to labor to be on top?

(Afaf Muhammad- Facebook post February 28,2018)

Communication

I’m ready to pour my mind on a canvas and let the dreams and cosmic songs be written in a visual that causes balance to the soul. We could speak all the words in the world and they would just get in the way. Yet if we sit in the silence of ourselves and tune ourselves to each other we will interact on a vibe that is supreme. Never opening our mouths except to share a gasp of life that is flowing all around us. Inhaling the science of our being. Figuring what causes us to fear life, connection, and death. Letting go of the noise of language as we bask in the glory of silence and art.

Letting Go

There comes a time when we must escape the busyness of our lives. When that time comes for me will you be by my side or will I be by myself? Will you be strong enough to lead me to my resting place and comfort me without guilt?

I was your happiness and you were mine. Before I go will you tell me all I meant to you even though you never showed me? Tell me now before I go, every time you see me.

Hold me like it’s our last time. Let me know I was enough for you in our time together. Let me know I beat your expectations and you valued my heart. Lay me down and tell me I have nothing to fear.

As I gently slip into the coma of your love, I let go of every ache and sorrow that I have ever felt for myself. I wilt quickly in this death that has been set upon my heart and mind knowing that you will revive me.

As I lay silent within myself, I stare at your soul while the rhythm of your thoughts about me plays in the background. A sweet melody that pours the pain of choices made from failure to meet expectations. Me not meeting yours and you thinking you could never meet mine.

As I lay within myself all I can do is stare. I see and feel all that you want me to know you feel about me. As the music plays on, you climb to the highest parts of our world pulling me along the piney paths as the leaves of the trees tear at my skin scratching the surface and leaving their scars that lead to old wounds healing. You reach the peak and swing me up to be by your side. I am humbled by you as I submit to your love.

To be held high by you is intriguing and unsettling to my soul. You make me feel and gain control.

We slowly fall out of me and balance as we die to what was bound to be our future.
You care for me. Holding me gently as I slip back into my resting place.

We rest and you care for me.
I have passed into peace with you by my side. And I’d do it all again as long as it leads me to you.

My words.
Afaf “Ariashalaara” Muhammad